It's four in the morning and as much as I 'd like to say that I can't sleep...the tuth is that I haven't even tried to sleep. There's nothing on television, and I just am not ready to call a day. I log on the net hoping that my California friend is awake to chat with (Rita), but I know that even with the two hour difference, most sane, sober people are asleep by now...Except for my neighbor. I don't know if he's sane or sober. Truth be told, I don't know too much about him. I got spoiled living next to Billy and Sarah for as long as I did. Now I have to start all over again with a new stranger. added to which, the other couple in the building next to mine has moved out, which means even more new neighbors. Agggghhh! Change!!!! I'm afraid of it. I'm allergic to it. Who said "consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds"? Asshole!
"Change comes from within!"...A friend of mine used to say that to homeless people when they asked for change. Wrong. I know, but I can't hear that now without thinking of her.
I don't know why I've decided to suddenly, at four in the morning, decided to post a mostly personal, confessional blog. Not that anything said has been remarkably confessional. "Keep you friends close, but your innermost feelings closer" or is that "keep your enemies closer"?...eh, same thing. Either one may be the death of me. I live in the subtext. The space between the line and the space between the line. A microtonal 16th note in a Chamber Piece, delivered so briefly and only infintismally off key that it seems more of a trick of the ears than a deliberate action. Thats me.
I'm not really sure why I'm even writing right now, and I was a highlight and key stroke away from erasing this moment forever, but I've already invested about 15 minutes just getting this far, so fuck it.
I dunno. Just feel free to call me on all my bullshit the next time you see me.
"Change comes from within!"...A friend of mine used to say that to homeless people when they asked for change. Wrong. I know, but I can't hear that now without thinking of her.
I don't know why I've decided to suddenly, at four in the morning, decided to post a mostly personal, confessional blog. Not that anything said has been remarkably confessional. "Keep you friends close, but your innermost feelings closer" or is that "keep your enemies closer"?...eh, same thing. Either one may be the death of me. I live in the subtext. The space between the line and the space between the line. A microtonal 16th note in a Chamber Piece, delivered so briefly and only infintismally off key that it seems more of a trick of the ears than a deliberate action. Thats me.
I'm not really sure why I'm even writing right now, and I was a highlight and key stroke away from erasing this moment forever, but I've already invested about 15 minutes just getting this far, so fuck it.
I dunno. Just feel free to call me on all my bullshit the next time you see me.
Goodnight.
P.S. there's no "current mood" setting for "in denial, bargaining or accepting" only "angry and depressed". I guess in myspace, you're not allowed to move on. You're only allowed to wallow. Just an observation.
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